Mr. A is an intelligent person. He is described as being aloof and distant by his friends and colleagues. He never comes for parties or gatherings where he is likely to meet people on an intimate level. He has turned down a promotion because it involved a possible change of place with increased responsibilities. He reasoned that he would not be able to handle the situation and that he was comfortable in his present situation.
His wife and kids accuse him of not spending time with them even when on holidays. He avoids situations that are new to him and cannot be persuaded to try new things. His wife says, “I will not like it, I will not be able to do it” are his usual words to anything new. He plans his routine very carefully and gets intensely anxious, angry, or upset even with minor changes.
Mr. A says he has been like this all his life. He reports that his parents have always insisted that everything be perfect and that disrespecting or hurting anyone was a great sin. Being alone most of the time due to his family conditions and fearing physical punishment from his alcoholic father, he had always been scared of the consequences of even simple things, like forgetting homework in school, and had always feared that his friends might think badly of him.
Mr. A went on to say that although his wife is a very good and caring person, he does not feel comfortable talking about his workday or how he feels because he fears hurting her or that she will form a bad opinion of him. He says that he ensures that he has done everything for his family’s comfort.
We might know a person like Mr. A. He has what we would medically term an avoidant personality or anxious avoidant personality (AAP). Avoidant personality disorder is characterised by sensitivity to rejection and criticism, low self-esteem, social withdrawal despite a desire for acceptance, and difficulty maintaining relationships and functioning at work. The American Psychological Association defines avoidant personality disorder in similar terms.
A person might develop avoidant personality traits as a result of their growing environment. Children raised in a strict and punitive environment may be more likely to develop these traits. People who are naturally fearful or shy as children may also be more likely to develop this personality pattern.
A person with this type of personality may also experience depression, anxiety, intense fear of objects or situations (phobia), and increased suicidal risk. Having avoidant personality traits can severely restrict a person’s growth and well-being and affect personal relationships. They may also experience substance abuse or dependence.
A person with AAP can be helped by counselling, therapy and professional mental-health support at Ahana Hospitals, and medicines when clinically appropriate to control anxiety or depressive symptoms. They can be helped to overcome their fears and develop better communication skills.